Insight

I think this is something you could only fully understand if you’ve spent some time on this island... Remember, “out of my tree” and “pissed” mean drunk here.

Luxury is a Chocolate Biscuit

Originally uploaded by sf2london.

We were recently having a discussion regarding what constitutes luxury in this country as compared with the USA. I was saying that from a British perspective, everything in America is luxurious because here, luxury is... Matthew finished my sentence: "a chocolate biscuit." Here is proof. In case you can't read the fine print, it says that John Lennon once requested payment in these particular chocolate biscuits instead of money. £7.50 for a tin, btw. I imagine they must be pretty darn luxurious.

Conkers & 0203

I know it’s World AIDS Day and everything, but I’ve got some more trivial bones to pick. First, conkers: yes, I know the season is over, but I’m gonna harp on it anyway. Ask any Brit what conkers is and I guarantee they’ll act all astonished and say something like, “you’ve never played conkers before?” or “you don’t have conkers in America?” Go ahead, try it. But don’t ask somebody who knows too much about the U.S. of A. I can’t decide whether that’s adorable or annoying. Second: 0203, which is a new London area code as of July 2005 (and, in fact, our area code). Except that nobody over here knows about it. Never mind that this is the 4th time in 14 years that London area codes have actually been changed. Things over here aren’t supposed to change. So I am wrong. Always. Every time. That number on my email signature? Wrong. When I have to fill in my phone number on various forms? Wrong. When I tell somebody to call me on 0203 bla bla bla? Wrong. “I’m sorry,” they say, “but don’t you mean 0207?” That is definitely not adorable, it’s just annoying. BTW, this post brought to you by whinging.

Fire!

Originally uploaded by sf2london.

On Sunday we went to Cleveland Square for Bonfire Night festivities. It's a little creepy that they burn an effigy (though the Yanks were wondering why it wasn't wearing a W mask). But I just read in Watching the English that the practice comes from some pagan ritual and that the effigy is supposed to represent the past year. Well, OK, fine. When the bonfire burned out, they shot off a TON of fireworks. Cleveland Square isn't very big, so the explosions were basically right over our heads and ashes were raining down on the crowd, making it difficult to look up. The verdict was that we would do it again.

Sparrow’s fart

This phrase turned up in today’s Daily Candy London. I had to Google it to discover its meaning.

No hat, no reflection, no pee.

So last night Steven & I decided to actually go to our local Indian takeaway. Because it was supposed to be air conditioned. It wasn't. But it was full, which is highly unusual. There was a large table of large ladies, one of whom — Sally — was celebrating her birthday. They seemed like they all came from one of the nearby housing estates (glamorous name they use here for the projects) to enjoy a special night out. At another table was a black (well, they're not African American here, are they?) family, and I think it might have been the little girl's birthday too. Very jealous of her ice cream dessert in a little paper cylinder with a plastic toucan head. When they left their table was taken by a couple of "blokes" who sat diagonally from each other. At first I thought they were expecting the wives or girlfriends. Nope. Steven says if I read "Watching the English" I'll understand. In any case it's feeling very diverse. We get seated next to a table of three white dudes. As soon as we settle in, I notice that the guy closest to me is talking about the film industry. He's got an irish accent. He's Gabriel Byrne.

Trash (not Rubbish)

From Kath's pals Philip & Jenny, here is the definitive list of trashy British celebrity gossip mags in order from highbrow to lowbrow:
Vanity Fair
Tatler
Hello!
OK
Now (Steven's a favoUrite)
Grazia
Real
Heat (can't find a website)
New (ditto)
Reveal
Closer
TV Top Tips (can't find)
Take A Break